Spent most of the afternoon on the river trail; needed desperately to get outside. Halfway there I started bawling and couldn't stop...the numbness is wearing off and the sadness has hit big time. Lots of other emotions as well.
Found a spot in the sun, out of the wind, overlooking a wetland down by the old basspond, and fell asleep in my chair for a while. It was good. Grieving can be exhausting. I wanted desperately to be with my brothers but they were both working. I gave up my cell phone and only have a land line so calling wasn't an option either.
Sure does hurt. ...Part of the circle of life...one of life's initiations...an inevitable transition we all go through...glad I told her "I love you" a lot:wish it had been more...miss that mischievous smile...the rare kiss...those frail, long-fingered hands...that white "Madsen" hair...having someplace else to go...being needed...funny the little things ya miss.
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